Don't Spend My Money for Me

It goes without saying that I am a conversationalist   Now before I go any further let me define that word for you.  A Conversationalist is someone that enjoys or excels in conversation.  Now let's visit the "root word" which is conversation.  A conversation is informal interchange of thoughts, information, etc., by spokenwords; oral communication between persons; talk; colloquy; the ability to speak well with others.  


With that being said I engage in a lot of conversations with various persons from various walks of life on a daily basis.  Recently, I've noticed a pattern in many of these conversations.  People everywhere are trying to dictate to people everywhere on how, when, where, and why to spend their money.  Now, if for some reason you find yourself at the financial mercy of someone else then your situation is a bit unique.  As long as you are not financially independent the person that has control of your "pocket" also has some say so in what you do financially.


Now, that is not who I am about to blog about.  I'm blogging about individuals that for whatever reasons have decided they are self-proclaimed financial advisers to the masses.  I'm speaking of those that are constantly saying what a person can do or can't do with their earned income.  Most recently, I've made the decision to make more financially responsible decisions.  This includes omitting many things that are not necessities.  In order to receive increase from God I must be a good steward over what he has already given me.  Now, WHY I choose to close my purse is really not your concern.  I only shared that to make a point.  The point is Monday-Friday I wake up, get dressed, go to MY job, and do MY work.  At the end of the pay period a direct deposit in the name of "D'Andra E. Bradford" is posted to MY account.  


So here is the irony.  At no point did I list that anyone else went to my job and completed my responsibilities.  At no point did I suggest that anyone else made a direct deposit into the accounts of D'Andra E. Bradford.  However, I do hear people say what I could have or should have done with MY earned income. (Do you see where this is going?)  Let's keep in mind that many of these people make references about others, I simply choose to "pick on myself". Or as my little nephew would say "I'm picking on my ownself today".
Often times we immediately say what people should be able to do that is not even necessary.  Now yes I do believe people need to take care of their responsibilities so this isn't what I'm speaking of.  


This past weekend I heard MANY people say "We need to support the Bayou Classic".  But let me ask you this, where was your support all of the subsequent weeks and months in between.  Southern University and Grambling State University need our (notice I said OUR) financial support on the days preceding and following "Bayou Classic Weekend".  Let's be real the money we collect at this Major sporting event will not keep the school floating.  Yes, we need to support The Annual Bayou Classic.  But people were all up in arms about something that is a LUXURY.  I'm just being real.  Bayou Classic is a luxury and I can't speak for anyone else, but when I choose between keeping a roof over my head and watching my favorite teams hash it out on the football field. I'm choosing stability and security of a home.


Now I don't know why anyone else made the choices they made but what I do know is whatever their reasons, I don't work at THEIR jobs and I don't pay THEIR bills and my name is not on THEIR financial accounts.  Therefore it is not MY JOB to spend their money for them.  
People are entitled to make their own decisions.  So when a person decides to forfeit the salon for dinner that's their business.  When a person chooses a Chevy over a Mercedes, again their business.  When a person chooses to rent instead of buy or buy instead of rent. . . their business.  


If we would all just stop trying to spend other folks money we may find more peace with our own personal decisions.  Now this is a post for another blog, but this even includes when you ask someone to borrow money and they say NO.  They have that right. . . This entitlement attitude of today's society is going to be the death of many of our neighbors and friends. (Blogging about this later)


So maybe you are still reading and you are still confused about the point. The point is "Stop spending (insert name  here) money for them".  And most definitely Stop trying to spend my money for me.


So next time you part your lips (or lift your fingers) to tell someone what they NEED to do with their Earned Income, check the "PAY TO THE ORDER OF " on their pay stub.
That's all folks. . .have a great day!
That's all folks. . .have a great day!

This is probably the most difficult blog I will ever write.

We all have our pet peeves. Mine has always been being judged without the benefit of testimony.  A few months ago I realized I had become that person.  That person that I hate.  Yes, I became judgmental and accusatory.  Not only was I being judgmental and accusatory, I was doing the VERY things I despised most in others.  I began to allow my insecurities and emotions to drive my decisions.

My thoughts, my desires, my dreams.  They all consumed me.  I was becoming the woman I hate(d).  In theory I was simply following my dreams.  Unfortunately, I was also trying very hard not to become the woman that throws herself into her work because she has nothing else to do.  It appeared that everyone in my circle was living MY dream.  (As if I am the only person that could have that dream). I began to wonder what I had done so badly in life that I was living a nightmare instead of a dream.  Even the people closest to me thought I was losing my mind.  

I could never admit that I was just depressed and disappointed.  

Governor Edwin Washington Edwards

Governor-State of Louisiana:
1972 to 1980
1984 to 1988
1992 to 1996....


And if he ran today he would serve again.  Hands down Governor Edwards is both the best governor Louisiana ever had.

Seasons Change

Everything has its season.  For nearly  four years of my life I prepared to spend my life with Ventric Fletcher.  Then on December 13, 2011 (two days before our 4th anniversary) he asked for a "temporary break".  I was pretty sure that there was no such thing as a temporary break.  Particularly given the signs were there all before this.  I went from being his priority to his second thought.  But I promised him (and God) that I would try. And I did.  I can't claim perfection, but I did put my all into what I thought to be my future.  For months we carried on as though we would end the temporary break.  And finally in October 2012, he admitted that he was in a relationship with another person.   And at that very moment I received PEACE.  

I received this peace because I had spent a lot of time praying and fasting with and for him.  And it frightens me to know I joined hands to pray with him to save our relationship while he was "moving on".  But I am not bitter. I'm thankful.

Ventric and I had some good days.  I truly enjoyed our time together. I enjoyed "Our Season".  When we were good. WE WERE GOOD. We were "Barak and Michelle".  I give him that.  

For reasons, I may never understand, that season ended. And I'm doing just fine.

But to then end of that season and new season begins. .  and so I walk into my new destiny proudly.

I walk into my new Season with joy, increase, and gladness.  I enter my new Season with increase, favor and boldness.  I enter it with the expectation of greatness and fulfillment in being JUST who God wants me to be.  

I enter it with new friends, old friends, family, and a true understanding of what God means when He promises to open up the windows of heaven that you will not have room enough to receive it!  

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support.  Know that our prayers are not and were not in vain.  And I am happy as "Seasons Change."